Really Stupid Cupid
by Dreamstar's Courage
Summary: Slightly AUMarco is appointed his class's Cupid, which means he'll have to bring the elected couple together... Rachel and Tobias.
1. Chapter 1

Really Stupid Cupid

Summary:Slightly AU, Tobias is human. Marco is voted his class's Cupid, so he has to get the voted couple together. And guess who they are... the couple will be the two who'll never seem to realize they like each other... Tobias and Rachel. And Marco only has till the Valentines Day dance.

Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own any of this... though I wouldn't mind owning Tobias...

1

Marco-

"And this year's Cupid is..." Mrs. Walden announced, "Marco!"

WHAT!

I sank into my chair, while snickers sounded around me. Looking about, I saw Cassie wave daintily, Jake give me a thumbs up, and Rachel blow a kiss. And I knew who had convinced people to vote me as Cupid.

Every school has a really dumb tradition. Ours is the 'Cupid' tradition, or as we teenagers call it, the 'Stupid Cupid' tradition. It's when a poor, poor student is voted as the person who has to get the elected couple together by the Valentines Day dance.

And this year, that poor kid was me.

Marco, the sixteen year old (a/n: I've tweaked the ages a bit) Animorph, who already has enough problems. For some reason, I felt that Rachel was the mastermind of this plot. I had to get her back... wait a sec... What was the mighty Xena's main weakness? Duh.

Tobias.

They obviously were hot for each other, but wouldn't admit it. Or don't even realize it themselves. I had to get them voted the couple. Since Cupid's works are secret, the couple isn't actually announced, though. That would make it harder. Ever since Tobias got back to human, and was put to the proper age by the Ellimist, he has apparently become quite the heartthrob for girls. And Rachel is... well, Rachel.

But hey, I'm up to the challenge.

Now, how to get people to vote...

0000

Let's just say that I won't be buying those new sneakers for a while.

"Marco," Mrs. Walden muttered to me at the end of the day the next day. "Your couple is Rachel and Tobias!"

"Really?" I asked, pretending to be surprised.

I looked at the two. They were talking, both visibly nervous. Rachel, the blonde beauty, with her icy blue eyes that warmed when she was around him, Tobias, the newly appointed soccer captain, who girls gushed over. Man, I don't get it. It has to be he eyes. Thanks to his Andalite roots, Tobias's eyes change from brown to a strange green every now and then.

I am up to the challenge.

It'll just be kinda hard.

00000

Cassie-

Yeah, I'll admit it.

I totally helped Rach with the Cupid thing.

But it's _Marco. _The same Marco who always calls me 'Earth Mother', which is more aggravating than it sounds. I had too.

Jake was helping me with an injured racoon in the barn when Marco ran in.

"I know who the couple is!" He shouted.

"No," Jake smirked sarcastically, "You? Cupid?"

Marco rolled his eyes. "Rachel and Tobias."

"Oh, you'll have a hard time with this one," I chuckled. Rachel and Tobias are always in denial about their feelings. But now, since Tobias is fully human with his powers again (thanks, Ellimist), they shouldn't be that way. I mean, look at Jake and I-

OK, not a good example.

I mean we're (as Rachel put it) _together_, and all, but we aren't broadcastiing it to the world. Still, we're going to the Valentines Day dance as a couple.

Marco began to look thoughtful.

"How am I supposed to get them together, anyway?"

I felt the guys' gaze on me.

"What?" I spluttered, "I'm a girl, but that doesn't mean I'm Venus!"

Stares.

"The goddess of love," I sighed.

"But you _are _Rachel's best friend," Jake pointed out. I sent him a 'thanks a lot' look.

"Does she talk of Tobi-" At this moment, Tobias walked in.

"Toby a lot?" Marco quickly switched to talking of the young Hork-Bajir seer.

"Oh yeah, Ket sure does!" I grinned.

Tobias's brow creased. OK, I'll admit it. After the Ellimist helped him out, Tobias became HOT! His messy brown hair was now something all the guys were trying to accomplish, and his eyes were gorgeous. Bad Cassie, BAD CASSIE!

"Oh, been to the valley of the free Hork-Bajir?" Tobias smiled fondly. Toby was his namesake, and he knew her well.

Our heads all bobbed.

"So, Cupid, who's the couple?" He smirked at Marco.

"Um, not allowed to tell."

Tobias rolled his eyes. Usually, Marco is not such a great secret-keeper, but this time, he needed to pull his plot off.

"So, asking any chick to the dance?" Jake asked. I gave him another look. This one was: 'I despise that you call females chicks'.

Tobias noticeably blushed at this. He looked down. "Uh, no."

"Not a certain blonde?" I teased.

"Rachel?" This time, he was scarlett. "No! She's one of my closest friends!"

When Tobias wasn't looking, I mouthed, "Denial!"

_So, my first Animorph fic. Whaddya think? R and R!_


	2. Chapter 2

Really Stupid Cupid

Summary:Slightly AU, Tobias is human. Marco is voted his class's Cupid, so he has to get the voted couple together. And guess who they are... the couple will be the two who'll never seem to realize they like each other... Tobias and Rachel. And Marco only has till the Valentines Day dance.

Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own any of this... though I wouldn't mind owning Tobias...

2

Rachel-

"Rachel... Rach? RACHEL!" Cassie yelled, snapping her fingers in front of my face.

"Wha!" I yelped, jerking my head up.

"What's-ooooh," Cassie smirked.

"Huh?" I asked.

Cassie and I were in the bleachers, watching one of Tobias's soccer games. Might I include that he looked so ho- no. He looked average. Very average in that uniform.

At least, that's what I'll tell Cassie.

For some reason, everybody thinks that Tobias and I are 'meant to be'. I mean, so we're close. So it's my chance to be with him now that he's human. Doesn't mean I'm gonna do it.

"You are so crushing," Cassie giggled.

I blinked. Cassie isn't usually like this. She's usually the little farm girl who couldn't care less about most boys.

Jake being an exception. Duh.

"Hello, ladies!" A voice came.

Ugh. Marco.

There the shorty was, walking up to us. He planted himself next to me, and I flinched.

"A bit too close for comfort, Marco."

He grinned. "Ah. The lass is saving herself for a certain young lad," He said in a Scottish accent.

I rolled my eyes. "And who might this 'young lad' be?"

"You're looking at him, lassie!"

My jaw hung open.

Realizing that he had spoken wrong, Marco's eyes widened and he shook his head.

"No, Rach! I meant the one you were just drooling over."

"I was _not _drooling over Tobias!"

Well, maybe a little (a/n: I am a full Tobias lover. So sweet and sensitive, and cute!).

I looked down to disguise my flushed face.

"If Tobias gets this goal, he'll win the game!" Cassie suddenly whispered.

Looking up, I saw Tobias kicking the ball toward the net. The goalie looked tough and nimble. This would be hard.

"Go, Tobias!" I yelled. Corny, I know, but I couldn't resist.

He was as close as he was gonna get without there not being enough room.

"This is it," I whispered, clutching Cassie's arm.

Then... bam! The ball went straight into the net!

I stood with the rest of the crowd, cheering wildly for him.

The referee gave him the trophy, and his team gathered around him.

"I'm going down there," I whispered to Cassie, casting a suspicious glance at Marco, who was smirking.

Man, why is he bothering me about Tobias so much?  
000

Tobias's POV

The team was all around me. Chris, my best bud (a/n: I am trying to make my writing sound like a guy... they do say 'bud' don't they?) on the team, walked up.

"Man, you were awesome!"

"It was nothing!" I grinned.

"Hey, Tobias!" A cheerful voice came.

Looking around, I saw a tall, beautiful blonde walking over to me.

Rachel.

The rest of the team's eyes were on her as she walked over in her jeans and sweater.

"You did great!" She smiled, normally icy blue eyes warm.

"Thanks," I said, "I didn't know you were here."

"Wouldn't miss it. Sure, I know nothing about soccer, but maybe you can teach me."

I nodded. "Sure."

Then unexpectedly, she hugged me.

Stunned for a moment, I hugged her back. He lips moved toward my ear, and she whispered, "It's nice to hug you again."

With that, she turned, flipping her golden hair, and walked off.

"Whoa," Chris said once she was out of earshot, "That's Rachel Berenson (a/n: I read the last book, and warning to all people who haven't read it yet: DO NOT READ IT!)."

"Yeah. So?"

Chris's eyes bugged out. "Oh, nothing. She's only the hottest girl in school!"

"Um, yeah."

Hottest girl in school. She had to have a date for the dance.

000

Ax-

What do you want me to do? I asked Marco.

We were in the woods, talking. He said that he had an important mission for me.

"I need you to talk to Tobias about Rachel."

Why? 

"Look. Do they have a holiday on your planet for love?"

Why, yes. Ramika Day (a/n: Made this up!). It is one of the most highly praised holidays. I replied.

"Well," Marco said, "We have that here, except it's called Valentines Day. I have to get Rachel and Tobias together by the 14th."

Or what? 

"Huh. Mrs. Walden never told me... it'll be bad, though."

How do you know this? 

"Well, duh. Teachers are the epicenter of all evil. If we didn't have teachers, we wouldn't have Yeerks."

Interesting. 

"Very. Now, you know your mission, Aximili! Dooooo it!"

Humans confuse me.

000

Hey, Ax man! 

I looked up into the sky. Even though he is human and living in a foster home, Tobias still visits me daily in his hawk morph.

Hello, Tobias. Be careful. 

Don't worry. I'm never gonna be a nothlit again. 

Oh yes. My mission.

How is Rachel? I asked.

"Uh... fine. Why do you ask? 

Just wondering. You seem closest to her. 

Nah. That's Cassie. 

Actually, I would say that you two are very fond of each other. 

_Fond _of each other? You mean, _like _each other? 

Tobias seemed very disturbed.

I still do not understand this 'like' concept. 

Uh... it's when a person as feelings for another person 

Feelings? 

Man, this is awkward. Having feelings for a person means that you care for that person in a special way. 

Ah. You mean, love? 

Well, sometimes. Like is one step away from love. 

Do you 'like' Rachel? 

Ye-I mean, no! OK, I gotta leave... um, my time's short. 

I seriously doubted this.

_R and R!_


	3. Simulations and Evil Plans

Really Stupid Cupid

Summary:Slightly AU, Tobias is human. Marco is voted his class's Cupid, so he has to get the voted couple together. And guess who they are... the couple will be the two who'll never seem to realize they like each other... Tobias and Rachel. And Marco only has till the Valentines Day dance.

Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own any of this... though I wouldn't mind owning Tobias...

3

Marco's POV-

"So, we're off on another suicidal mission," I sighed.

"It's only a surveilence," Rachel pointed out cheerfully, "Not nearly as suicidal as most."

"I must agree. Eeee. Ee, ee, EEEEEEE!" Ax exclaimed.

"Tone the 'es' down a bit," Jake suggested.

"Yes, Prince Jake."

"Don't call me prince."

"Yes, Prince Jake." (a/n: I luv this!)

"I swear, that's what Jake's dying words shall be," Cassie muttered, trying to take the temperature of a very unlucky squirrel.

This is quite disturbing.

Rachel tossed her hair. "So, we're going into this big, 'scientific' place, and randomly destroying things?"

"I wish," Tobias muttered. He has this new morph, a Kodiak bear, which is basically very near the grizzly, but, according to Cassie, different. He enjoys it's firepower.

"Look, aren't you two perfect for each other?" I grinned in a cupid way.

Rachel blushed. Tobias rolled his eyes as well. But still...

I am so good.

000

Cassie's POV

I felt the changes in my body begin as I morphed to fly. Ugh. Flies are disgusting to morph, you should all know that by now... I'd just like to remind you.

( I do not see why you are all so worried when you morph this,) Ax commented. We were behind a big, empty warehouse.

"Oh, I don't know," Marco snapped, "Maybe 'cause I'm gaining four extra legs, my eyes look like they're shattering?"

(Well, it isn't that bad,) Ax muttered dejectedly.

"Sure," Rachel coughed.

I could see Marco getting a plotting look on his face. What was he thinking?

I was full fly now, and everybody else was still human.

"Uh, Cass?" Jake asked, looking around.

( Over here, Jake, ) I laughed in thought speak.

"Eeeek! Fly!" Marco fake-screamed, trying to swat me.

Jake pumched him.

"Look-" Rachel began.

"NOOOOO!" Marco yelled. She smirked.

"Let's do it."

000

(This is the most boring surveilence we've ever done,) Rachel announced.

It was.

All the yeerks were doing were talking about the losses they'd had since "The Andalite bandits" last attacked.

And, uh, we kinda knew who we had killed.

(Look,) Jake snapped, (We ha-)

(Let's just go,) Marco sighed.

We began to fly out of the place, and everything went smoothly.

Until we were out, that is.

"Um," Jake said as we demorphed, "I feel like we're missing something."

I looked around.

"Oh my gosh," I whispered, "We're missing Rachel and Tobias."

"Exactly," Marco smirked.

000

Marco's POV

"What do you mean?" Jake hissed in his silky mean voice.

"Yes!" Ax, in his human morph, nearly yelled. Then ruined it by adding, "Es. Sss. Eh!"

"Look," I sighed, "I'm cupid. They won't get hurt. They'll just _think _they might be... I found this tool of Ax's... it creates very realistic simulations.."

000

Rachel's POV

It was dark. I was human.

"Tobias?" I called. Please don't ask me why I tried for him first.

"Rachel? Over here!" Came a voice from down below. I walked into a sliver of light. I was on a high platform, looking down onto Tobias.

"Oh man," I whispered.

"It must have been a trap," Tobias said quietly.

"Where are the others?" I asked nervously.

"Don't know. You and I seem to be the only ones around."

"How... how do I get off of here?"

There was a long silence, and finally, Tobias spoke.

"Rachel... you're gonna have to jump."

I laughed.

"Yeah. Right."

"I'm serious."

"Look," I exclaimed, "I can morph bird-"

"No. There might be alarms. I'll catch you."

"OK... you'd better." My voice was shaky.

And then... I jumped.

The wind was whistling past me. I kept my eyes open though. Not like it would help, but...

Thump!

"Oof," Tobias grunted as I landed in his arms. Instinctively-only that!- I wrapped my arms around his neck and laid my head against his chest.

"Tobias!"

"Ssh," He murmured, "It's OK."

For a moment, we stayed that way, just him holding me.

Finally, awkwardly, we separated. I was blushing. That had been like a scene out of a corny old movie.

"Look," I whispered, pointing. "A way out."

000

Marco's POV

I watched Tobais and Rachel sitting very close together on the bus the next day.

Muhahahahahahahaha! My evil plan is working.

000

_Well, that had some T/R in it. Actually, all of te chapter have at least a bit..._


	4. I Think I May

Really Stupid Cupid

Summary:Slightly AU, Tobias is human. Marco is voted his class's Cupid, so he has to get the voted couple together. And guess who they are... the couple will be the two who'll never seem to realize they like each other... Tobias and Rachel. And Marco only has till the Valentines Day dance.

Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own any of this... though I wouldn't mind owning Tobias...

4

Jake-

"That was really irresponsible," I muttered to Marco at lunch. He shook his head.

"It worked."

"So- oh, yeah, it did."

We watched Rachel and Tobias openly flirting with each other, as if they were so innocent.

"My gosh," Cassie sighed as she sat down next to me (it had basically spread throught the whole school that we were together, so...). "Those two are almost as clueless as Marco."

"Yea-" Marco began, "Wait a sec... hey!"

Ignoring him, Cassie continued. "I don't even think they truly realize that they like each other."

"Idiots," I agreed.

Marco cackled evilly.

"That's why I am still brewing up my evil plot!"  
"You know that Rach's gonna kill you once she figures out what hapenned."

"Ah, yes. But her happiness is all worth it."

"Oh really. And that whole, 'Cupid gets his pick of the girls to dance with if he succeeds, and they have to do it' thing means nothing to you?"

Marco lifted his head up from where he was scoping a couple of girls.

"Huh? Oh. That. No, all for the couple's happiness. And that 'F' I'll get if I can't get them together means nothing, too."

000

Tobias-

Have you ever had the feeling that you are doing the wrong thing?

Uh, I feel like it nearly every time... uh, this is really hard to say... well, to be honest, I feel that way every time I'm with Rachel.

I'm not making a move. I'm as silent as I was a hawk about my feelings. Stupid, stupid, Tobias!

At least, that's what I say to myself all the time.

Mentally, that is. I hope.

Anyway, Rachel's just... above my level. Why would _she _want to date _me_? I was contemplating this, sitting under my tree, when Cassie walked by.

"Hey, Tobias," She smiled.

"Oh. Hey."

"You seem depressed."

Duh.

I laughed. "Really? I was just acting."

She sat down, crossing her legs. Cassie's a pretty girl, I'll admit that. You can see why Jake dates her. But then, that's just one reason. He also loves the way she acts... basically everything about her. I like her, but as a friend (a/n: No offense to anyone who writes these fics, I just... well, I just get annoyed by Cassie/Tobias fics.).

"It's Rachel, isn't it?" Cassie murmured.

"No!" I exclaimed, running my fingers through my hair.

Cassie laughed. "You know that you're just saying that. You know that you lo-"

"Cassie!" I muttered, cutting her off. "It's more complicated than you think."

She looked me in the eye. "Hello! I'm dating Jake."

"Yeah," I admitted, "But this is different. You and Jake... you were able to be 'just friends' in the beginning, before the war even began, and you knew each other all that well. You're feelings for him were platonic. Mine for Rach... they've _never _been that way."

Cassie arched one eyebrow. "You mean, it was the love at first sight deal?"

I shook my head. "Not love at first sight. I just knew that I had feelings for her. But something told me it would never work out, so why get my hopes up?"

Cassie put a hand on my shoulder and tried to shake me. It didn't exactly work, but she spoke anyway.

"Tobias," She sighed, "Why didn't you make a move, then?"

"Because," I sighed, "I was a _hawk_, Cass! It wouldn't have ever worked."

"But Tobias," Cassie whispered, "It can now."

"I... I just don't want to ruin our friendship," I looked at the ground. "But I already have."

"How?"

"Cassie... I think I may love her."

_Duh... R and R!_


	5. Rachel? Dateless!

Really Stupid Cupid

Summary:Slightly AU, Tobias is human. Marco is voted his class's Cupid, so he has to get the voted couple together. And guess who they are... the couple will be the two who'll never seem to realize they like each other... Tobias and Rachel. And Marco only has till the Valentines Day dance.

Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own any of this... though I wouldn't mind owning Tobias...

5

Marco-

Oh yeah. I'm Cupid, and get no credit whatsoever. Rachel, has, in fact, been even more evil to me lately. According to Cassie, it's because she has 'conflicting emotions'.

Please. This is Rachel. She just plain loves to torture me!

"Marco," She said as we 'dicussed' matters in the barn. "Is it just me, or did you lose a few inches in height?"

"Ha ha," I laughed sarcastically.

Tobias, meanwhile, was looking 'troubled'. Cassie says that he is coming to terms with the fact that he's in love with his best friend.

Man, the Animorphs have their own Dr. Phil. Sweet.

"Look," Jake sighed, "We shouldn't focus on the holiday, just on the important matters."

"A-men." I agreed.

"He just doesn't want to go to the Valentine's Day dance," Cassie commented.

"Jake!" I pretended to be disgusted. "How could you!"

"Who does have a date to the dance, out of all of us, anyway?" Rachel asked.

"Trust Rachel to change the subject to our social lives," Jake remarked dryly.

"Jake and I are going, _of course_," Cassie said, shooting him a death glare. "I may not be the girliest of girls, but I want to go to the dance."

"What is this dance about? Ance." Ax asked. He was in human morph, duh.

"Remember when I told you about Valentine's Day?" I asked. He nodded. "This dance is a celebration of that day."

"I think that Ax should go," Rachel announced, "Since he almost died at his last one." (a/n: I loooooooved that book! How all those girls were looking at Tobias on that one part...)

"But-" Jake began, but Rachel, being Rachel, cut him off.

"We'd have to find a girl for him to take, so Tobias can introduce him to the cheerleaders. I would take him, since I don't have a date, but it would be kinda awkward."

"_You _don't have a date?" Tobias's surprised but pleased-sounding voice rang through the barn. It was the first thing he had said since the meeting began. Everyone-including Rachel- turned to him. He blushed.

"Yeah," She answered in a weird voice. "I... I don't."

Rachel's never been dateless, so I'm guessing that she turned down a lot of guys.

I finally broke the silence. "Tsk, tsk, Xena. I know how sharp of the tongue you are."

She rolled her eyes, blushing.

When she and Tobias weren't looking, I mouthed to Cassie, Jake, and Ax, 'told you!'

Tobias-

I was going where few men dare to enter. A terrifying area. Dangerous waters.

Toward a group of cheerleaders.

Yes, it was time for me to get Ax a date. "Look," I muttered to him, "Do _not _play with sounds, please." He bobbed his head.

After a moment, one of them caught sight of us and nudged her friends.

"Hi Tobias!" She squealed. I recognized her. Her name was Sara. She was pretty ditzy, and Ax needed someone smart, so I decided that she wasn't it.

That's when I saw one girl, standing apart from the others, watching us. She was taller than all of them, only a couple inches shorter than Ax and I. She had dirty blonde hair, with grey eyes, and tanned skin. Chris, and honor roll student. Perfect for Ax.

"Do you like her?" I muttered to him. He nodded.

"Actually," I said, "My friend Ax was wondering if Chris wanted to go to the dance with him."

She walked up, smiling. I'd love to, Ax."

If only my love life was that easy.

000

_I'm having fun with this... R and R!_


	6. Foiling Marco's Plot

Really Stupid Cupid

Summary:Slightly AU, Tobias is human. Marco is voted his class's Cupid, so he has to get the voted couple together. And guess who they are... the couple will be the two who'll never seem to realize they like each other... Tobias and Rachel. And Marco only has till the Valentines Day dance.

Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own any of this... though I wouldn't mind owning Tobias...

6

Rachel-

I practically fell asleep during Math that day. All I knew was that Ax had a date. That was the update for Valentines Day.

"Rachel!" Cassie hissed, slappingmy desk with a loud bang. "Wake up!"

My head jerked up. For some strange reason I had been having dreams that were repeats of when Tobias saved me.

Weird.

"You interrupted me," I groaned, rubbing my ringing ears.

Cassie rolled here eyes. "Look, we gotta go; today, we're having school lunch, remember. Can't be late."

"You never had school lunch," I remarked, "You're a vegetarian."

Cassie grinned. "Yep. We just got a salad bar."

I shook my head. "You wrote in asking for one, didn't you?"

She was silent.

As I got my lunch though, I saw something that made me freeze up.

It was Tobias. And it looked like he was asking Laurie out. Laurie was the cute new student. Red haired, perky, most people liked her.

I wanted to rip her guts out. Which, if I morphed, I could.

I wanted to hurt some one as I heard her say: "Of course I'll go to the dance with you, Tobias!" in her bubbly voice.

"Rach? Rach?" Cassie asked, tapping me on the shoulder. "What's up?"

"Nothing," I muttered, sweeping past her. "Absolutely nothing."

000

Cassie-

"Look," I muttered to Jake and Marco at the barn that evening. "Something's up with Rachel."

"What?" Jake asked as he held the squirrel I was medicating still.

"She's tense, won't talk to me, and changed the subject whenever I say the name 'Rachel'."

"I... I may know what's going on."

Jake and I turned to Marco.

"Look," He sighed, "Tobias asked Laurie to the dance."

Jake's eyes bugged out. My jaw dropped.

"He WHAT!"

Marco was just muttering under his breath, "Now I'll get an 'F' for sure."

"Why would he ask that slut out when he can have Rachel?" I blubbered.

"Don't know. Probably 'cause he's got commitment issues."

"Marco," Jake sighed, "Please don't tell me that you've been watching _Oprah_ again."

"You did too!"

"_Once_."

I rolled my eyes. Boys.

000

_Short, I know. But I need to work on my other stories._


	7. Chapter 7

Really Stupid Cupid

Summary:Slightly AU, Tobias is human. Marco is voted his class's Cupid, so he has to get the voted couple together. And guess who they are... the couple will be the two who'll never seem to realize they like each other... Tobias and Rachel. And Marco only has till the Valentines Day dance.

Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own any of this... though I wouldn't mind owning Tobias...

7

Marco-

I hate my life. I know I've said that before, but this time, I truly mean it.

"Mrs. Walden," I told her after class when nobody else was there, "I really don't think I'm cut out for this Cupis thing."

"I'm sorry, Marco," She sighed, ruffling through her papers, "But you can't resign."

I looked at her, apalled. "But the Chosen Couple-"

"I don't care if they're running around in string bikinis, you still have to get them together."

For a moment, I savored the thought of Rachel racing around in a string bikini, but then shuddered when thinking of Tobias in one(a/n: has anybody ever heard of a Tobias/Marco? one word: EWWWWWWWWWWWW! people actually ship those!).

"But-"

"NO."

Man, people have no sympathy.

As I walked into the halls, I happened to see the guy who was making Rachel's life miserable, and in turn making my life miserable, walking down the halls himself.

Walking toward me! The nerve!

"Well, well, well," I said, glaring at him, "If it isn't..." I couldn't think of anything to call him, so... "_Tobias _himself."

"Uh, yeah," Tobias replied, looking at me weird. "That would be me."

I looked at him. "Come over here."

He walked over.

"Closer."

He looked at me funny again. "Look," I blurted, "Why'd you ask Laurie to the V-Day dance?"

He glared at me. "None of your business."

"You," I pointed at him, "Are in love Rachel."

He turned around, then walked off.

000

Tobias's POV-

I walked onto the football field-to find the entire cheerleading squad crowded in front of me.

"Gimme and 'R'," The captain grinned, making an 'r'.

"'R'!" The rest of the squad copied her.

" Gimme an 'A'!"

"'A'!"

And I think you know where it went from there.

"What's that spell?"

"Rachel? Ask her out! Ask her out! Ask her out!"

A barbie doll looking mascot that looked nothing like Rachel, but I guess was supposed to represent her, ran out, doing spin and hops.

Finally, it backed up, and ran. It then tried to do a back handspring, and landed on it's head.

The head bumped off, and revealed... Marco.

"So," I asked, walking up to him, "You payed them."

How did I know this, you ask? Well:

One: All the cheerleaders were getting twenties from him. Each.

Two: Several wrote their numbers on scraps of paper and mouthed, 'call me' to me.

000

I opened the door, and found... a giant teddy bear at the door.

"Who are you?" I blurted.

"Well, my real name is Herbert Asiago(a/n: heehee, asiago cheese!), but I'm also called teddy during my job."

Herbert Also Known As Teddy, then broke into song.

"P-p-p-piiiiick Rachel, you two are meant to be! Piiiiiiick Rachel, we'll be one big family! Piiiick Rachel, she's really really hooot, piiick Rachel, if you don't, then you're sure nooooooot!"

Just as he began "One more time!" I held up my hands.

"Uh, no. It's cool. I'm guessing a guy called Marco sent you here?"

000

_Heehee, Marco's desperate. R and R!_


	8. Even

Really Stupid Cupid

Summary:Slightly AU, Tobias is human. Marco is voted his class's Cupid, so he has to get the voted couple together. And guess who they are... the couple will be the two who'll never seem to realize they like each other... Tobias and Rachel. And Marco only has till the Valentines Day dance.

Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own any of this... though I wouldn't mind owning Tobias...

8

Rachel-

You know what happens when somebody hits you hard?

You fight back.

And that's exactly what I was going to do with Tobias.

I scoped the class that day, looking for a target. Ah, Adam Lake. Nice. Great bod, nice smile. Yeah, he'll work.

Now, to operation flirt.

"Hi, Adam," I smiled, walking up to him as we were leaving.

He looked around to see if I had the right person.

"Uh, yeah?"  
"I'm Rachel," I put a hand on his arm, "I'd love to get to know you better."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Tobias, a jealous guy if I ever saw one. Oh, well, back to my charge.

"Oh," Adam grinned his football grin. "I'd like that too."

000

Giggling that giggle jocks love, I smiled at Adam. We were watching _X-men 3_ at the theater. Personally, I think X-men is lame(a/n: No offense to any of the fans out there), but Adam adores them.

Anything for my Adam.

At that moment, Tobias, Laurie clinging to him once again, walked by our aisle. I took the explosion moment(a/n: No idea where that is-HATE X-men) to hug Adam tightly, as if I was scared.

Hah. I've battled stuff that would make the X-men scream and run for their mommies.

Adam stroked my hair. "It's almost over."

Boy, am I good.

Tobias sat down behind us, I noticed.

Lovely.

I took a bit of Adam's popcorn and ate it, thinking. Should I kiss Adam right now? Or would that be too obvious? Should I let him kiss me, if he tries?

I was interrupted by a light tap on my shoulder. Turning, I found Laurie's freckled face shoved in mine.

"Excuse me," She said in her nasaly voice, "Can you scoot your head down a bit? I can't see."

In response, I 'scooted' higher.

"Rach!" A voice hissed.

Grovel Tobias. Grovel.

I spotted him walking down the aisle and gesturing to me, so I told Adam that I was having an allergic reaction to a rogue bumble bee attack.

As predicted, he nodded and didn't look my way.

Tobias met me in the halls, and began.

"What is your problem?" He nearly yelled.

"Nothing," I sighed, trying to walk past him. He suddenly grabbed my arm.

"Excuse me," I mimicked Laurie, "Can you scoot just a bit?"

"What?" Tobias blurted.

"Sorry," I smirked, "Thought that girls who sound like they got twigs shoved up their noses turned you on."

Tobias still wouldn't budge.

Sighing, I resorted to the only possible distaction.

Tobias seemed very surprised that I was kissing him. The crowd who had come to watch the bickering couple was even more surprised.

But when I was finished, I simply walked off, refusing to acknowledge my racing heart.

000

Adam looked me in the eye.

"Rach," He said, right in front of my house, "Will you go to the dance with me?"

I smirked.

"Of course."

000

_OK, last chappie next. This will end the fic, but not my writing. R and R!_


	9. Chapter 9

Really Stupid Cupid

Summary:Slightly AU, Tobias is human. Marco is voted his class's Cupid, so he has to get the voted couple together. And guess who they are... the couple will be the two who'll never seem to realize they like each other... Tobias and Rachel. And Marco only has till the Valentines Day dance.

Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own any of this... though I wouldn't mind owning Tobias...

9

a/n: Well, last chappie...

Tobias-

Ok. Take deep breaths. It's only Rachel. Only Rachel.

The girl you love.

This is just great. She's with Adam. A football player. How can a soccer player out do a football player?  
This was what I asked Jake. "You should have asked her earlier," He responded, then glared. "Or how about this? _Not _ask Laurie."

"I have no idea why I did that," I sighed, "She was just so eager, and-"

"Rachel wasn't?" Jake finished for me, flipping through the channels on my TV. "Yeah. She's like that, you know? Plays hard to get."

I snorted. "She wasn't playing hard to get with Adam. Not at all."

"Well," Jake smirked, "She kissed you, right?"  
"Yep. To get me to shut up."

"What's this I hear about kissing?"  
I groaned as Lydia, my foster mom, walked into the room. Don't get me wrong, she's a sweet lady. Just kinda overprotective.

"Nothing," Jake had The Look on his face. The look that allows him to stop being a leader and start being a kid. "Tobias just got some action."

She glared at me. "What does he mean?"

"Nothing," I snapped, glaring at Jake.

At that moment, a knock on the door came. Lydia ran to get it.

"Hello, Mrs. Bennett."

Oh no.

Jake and I ran to look, and saw an unhappy Lydia looking at Rachel. Knowing that Lydia hates girls looking hot, as I'd ranted to her, Rachel wore a miniskirt and knee high boots with high heels and a tank top.

The look she gave me was one of pure evil.

"She is evil, I tell you," I hissed to Jake.

Rachel flipped her hair behind one shoulder.

"I'm Rachel," She smiled, "A friend of Tobias's."

Lydia's lips were pursed. "Really."

"Yeah. Jake's my cousin, so I came to tell him that the tests came back positive."

"What do you mean?" Lydia asked. Rachel is an excellent actress. She put on the sad face and everything.

"Jake," She walked up to him with a choked up voice, "You have Spinning Syndrome.(a/n: NOT REAL!)"

"Huh?" Jake asked. Rachel even let a tear fall.

"See. Poor thing's already losing his memory. First sign."

Oh. She couldn't go with 'I wanted to see my cousin'. Noooo.

Now Rachel turned to me. "See ya later Tobias," She purred, sliding one hand along my arm.

When she was gone, Lydia turned to me.

"So. A 'friend'."

"Yep," Jake and I said together, and then we ran.

000

Marco-

Operation GetRachelandTobiastogethertogetanA: Commencing.

Step One: Listen in on phone calls.

As I tried to look brave while holding a rat, Cassie was all "Oops, that must be Rachel on the line. You can handle this, right?"

"Yeah," I grimaced.

But once she was gone, I put Ratty back and found the nearest phone. This is how it went.

Rachel: Hey, did you see how hot Chad Michael Murray was in that Teen People issue?

Me: cringes

Cassie: Um, I don't read that magazine.

Rachel: Really? Huh.

Me: begs God to let me die

Cassie: Anyway, are you sure you want to go to the dance with Adam?

Rachel: You know I _liked _Tobias. But now that he's with that slut-

Hah. All I needed to know, painless.

000

Step 2: Talk to Tobias about Laurie.

Me: So, about Laurie-

Tobias: No.

000

Step 3: Try different approach.

Me: Tobias, I shall expell the demons out of you.

Tobias: Huh?  
Me: THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELLS YOU, THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELLS YOU, THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELLS YOU, THE-

Tobias: putting hand over my mouth I didn't know you were Catholic.

Me: Me neither.

000

Step 4: Try same thing with Rachel.

Aftermath:

Rachel: Now, shut up ya little freak, or else.

Me: trying to get Rachel's hands off my neck OK.

000

Step 5: Pray that I'll die before the dance takes place.

000

Rachel-

I walked into the gym, Adam at my side. I was wearing a knee length red dress with spaghetti straps.

Cassie and Jake were at our sides, with Marco dateless. Hah. Ever since he tried to expell the demons out of me, I've wished him bad luck.

Plus, Lily and George are here to stay.

I'm kidding.

Really.

"Hey."

I turned. Laurie was in a hideous yellow dress, and giggling all over Tobias. How digusting.

"Oh, hi Tobias," I smiled, giggling all over Adam.

Hey. I had my reasons.

The songs began. I danced to even the fast ones, since Laurie was making Tobias do it.

Till finally... it got to me. He liked someone else. Maybe even loved her. I was a thing of the past, a little fling.

No more Rachel.

I told Adam that I needed to sit down, and he went off to flirt with other chicks.

"You seem upset."

I flinched. Tobias had sat down beside me.

"Gee, wonder why," I snarled sarcastically.

"Rach, why are you so upset?" He asked.

"Why am I upset?" I cried, looking into his eyes. "Because you asked a girl out who barely likes you, when you can have me, and I love you!"  
My hand flew to my mouth as soon as those last three words were out. Tobias blinked, a dazed look on his face.

"You love me?" He said.

I nodded, looking down.

"Well," He grinned, "That works out. 'Cause now I can do this."

And suddenly, he was kissing me.

Kissing me.

Me.

Kissing Tobias.

My arms went around his neck, and we stayed like that for a while. Then we Frenched for a while, not really caring who walked by.

A familiar voice stirred us out of the reverie. "Get a room."

"Marco!" I slapped him.

"Thanks," Tobias smirked, "Even though you did nothing but expell my demons."

Marco pulled an invisible belt up. "All in a day's work, sir."

Cassie and Jake walked over.

"Huh," Jake remarked, "It worked."

"I need to sit down," Cassie teased.

At that moment, Mrs. Walden got on stage.

"Junior class of 2006," She announced, "I would like to introduce this year's Cupid... Marco Sanchez!"

Marco strutted up to the stage, and did a little dance number once up.

"Well," He began, "Four score and something years ago, I had a dream,"-I rolled my eyes. He was rolling all this famous stuff together- "A dream that I would be Cupid."

The gym giggled.

"And thanks to this lovely woman," He presented Mrs. Walden, "My dream was fulfilled."

He pretended to weep, and Mrs. Walden pulled him offstage.

"OK," She grinned, "As observed by many,"-she shot Tobias and I a look- "Marco got the elected couple together. Presenting... Tobias Fangor and Rachel Berenson."

The crowd cheered as we got up. But Tobias and I only said one thing, at the same time.

"Thanks."

And then we were off to our spotlight dance.

And to the rest of our lives.

**The End**

Hi. Hope you liked it. R and R! I hope to put in more animorph fics. ;)


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